Have you ever thought something, or perhaps had a different opinion, but did not share your thoughts, just to avoid conflict?  However, when this happens regularly, you will need to identity what the root cause of the problem it and then work eradicating it.  Are you feeling intimidated, or do you believe that you have given up trying to reach out and make the other person understand how you feel?

In any relationship communication is key, and once communication breaks down then it becomes important to build that foundation once again.  The longer you go on trying to ‘avoid’ conflict and keeping difference of opinions and thoughts to yourself, the more long-term negative consequences are banked.

Here are a few aspects to consider as important parts of regaining focus and open communication within your relationships:

  • Stop and listen. We are sometimes so embedded in wanting to be heard that we actually stop listening – that can work both ways – for yourself and your partner; this happens when you actually do not focus on the emotions of the next person, but rather just try to get your ‘word’ in.
  • Be honest. Take that critical step of talking to your partner, in a safe and comfortable environment where you can share your emotions, honestly.  Ask your partner not to judge, but to please listen instead.
  • Choose your language. Do not harp on the past and do not point fingers!  This is when the defence mechanism kicks in, and communication breaks.  Instead of saying, “You make me feel…’ rather say, ‘I feel… because we are disconnected in so many ways.’.
  • Ask for help if you need it. Couples go through long stints of arguments, followed-by silent-treatment mode and eventually just falling into disconnect.  Relationship coaching (for both partners, or the individual) can help bringing back self-love, focus and connection within your relationship.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topics, and other topics you would like to read about – please write to : sankalpacoaching@gmail.com


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